Am I Lonely???

I’ve had the very lovely lady staying with me for 10 days, so I’ve been a bit quiet on the blogging front (big Eurovision fans will realise that the last post was about 2 weeks too late).

One thing interesting from the visit was that she said that her boss often worries about her having things to do in the evening and at weekends.  Like me, she’s moved alone to a new city by herself and is making efforts to get to know people and keep active.

Since her departure, I’ve noticed many people voicing those similar discussions.  Wondering what my hobbies are and asking if I’m meeting anybody in the evening.  Now, for all my newly qualified teacher colleagues, they will probably be envious that I have any free time at all for this, but there is no denying I am working hard and there are evenings I’m coming home, eating and sleeping, and waking up for the next day.

But anyway, it is lovely to see people interested in what I’m doing, we know the importance of keeping ones social life up is important.  The emphasis here is that there is much more to the work, staff do leave at 4 and have family time and that is almost untouchable without some form of compensation.   (Excitingly, this is often food, which my poor I’m-still-a-student-and-I-should-have-been-at-Durham-Freshers’-Fair today mindset still is unbeatably exciting).

I’m certainly still active, writing this blog keeps my mind thinking, I’m swimming a lot and was very impressed with myself for winning every race against our society’s former first lady above.  I’m involved from a distance with OGAE UK and also with Melodifestivalklubben here now in Sweden.

Add to that a genuine appreciation of school life too, and the joys of writing a school council constitution this weekend (and seeing the Scotland qualify to Euro 2012……) delights my anticipation.

I don’t know why, but with all this going on, I just asked myself if I was lonely.  Certainly, I could see more people around my life.  Sweden is grinding to a half in preparation for winter hibernation, and for one reason or another I never got to meet and make friends with all the masses of Swedish people I was hoping to do when I arrived.  There are some people I know closely, and I hold them very dear to my heart, but they are busy and I know I’m not first priority and I shouldn’t be.  I’ve held two events with friends coming round to mine, both could have worked out much better and nothing on my part would really have changed that.

I did come here on my own, and sometimes on my own is exactly how I feel.  Like now, I’m on the bus at 19:40 (the 2nd one, so not a late late night), and I’m going to eat, tidy and sleep and get up for tomorrow.  No other alternative.  I question if it’s right, but I don’t complain.

I need to make the most of being here, I need to get myself active in other ways perhaps, but now they can be new projects rather than obligations.  They could be politics (which I may write about in due course), they could be the language (which I really really need to work on, I feel like I’m getting worse not better, arguably this is what I should be doing), they could be something else sporting (I really want to try handball, and I think darts could be good fun).

I also want it on record that I 100% intend to enter Melodifestivalen 2013 at the current time.  The new webbjoker format makes it more worthwhile (although I think more songs should get through and the voting period open a little longer, but I’m sure they have done the stats), and I know I have the song to win it.  The best thing about my school building being open late is that I can use it to songwrite to my hearts content.

I’m not lonely in conclusion, very happy in fact in my own little world here.  If, and this is the thing, I make the most of it.  Who knows now if this is one year or 50, but I do need more purpose in being here.  My professional life is great, but not me entirely (although much closer here this year than last year!), and I think time spent alone needs to be productive.  And productive should not mean that I am glued to this laptop…

p.s. got off my bus, and had 7 minutes to wait for my tunnelbana, 7 mins is in Stockholm a frustratingly long time to wait for public transport (never thought I’d say this).  I decided to go shopping.  I have a very exciting combination for tonight of fancy strawberry cereal and fancy pear yoghurt.  This excites me.  I also bought a pack of carrots on offer for 50 p.  On that note it is interesting that I said 50 p rather than 5 SEK.  Maybe I know I am not fully in my head moved to a new country yet, or maybe I know that it’s British people reading this.

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