Here’s a blog entry from me written in the warmth and security of my own ground-floor flat, rather than public transport for a change.  It’s that important (although, having read it, thinks it makes very little sense, of well)

I just want people to know about an important thought of my life at the moment.  Things are sufficient.  And I mean this in a very Swedish kind of way.

I live alone.  It is warm, safe, tidy (tomorrow at least) and has access to the wider world via the wonders of technology.  I swim.  Lots.  I’m in great shape.  I work.  Hard.  I do lots of extra-curricular as always.  I am progressing in society.  Slowly.  But surely.  My Swedish for Immigrants interview went well, I start learning officially this month.  I am going to be the local co-ordinator for the Swedish Eurovision fanclub (that is a high pressure job – the local co-ordinator in arguably the city best known for the Eurovision Song Contest – the only other competition would be Dublin, but what fun is a terrible Irish ballad?).  I’m active.

This is my life, my friends, and I can’t be no one else.

I had a conversation (facebook chat to be more exact) with a friend here who was surprised that I was so by myself and satisfied.  My friendship was questioned which shocked me.

It did make me think about how, since I’ve been living by myself, my world has revolved around me and not other people.  In part, I’m a little saddened by this fact, I know Sweden has shut down for the winter already (it’s double figures here…) but I was so determined when I came to make friends – and then I go and do things that are counter-intuitive to that.  But I am quiet, and I have made myself very self-sufficient here.  That’s surely a good thing.

It made me think about friendships, and how they matter, and how you have to look after them.  It’s a new thing for me; there are very few people I think like that about.  I have always had a sufficiency not to depend on the others for everything I do, and I know those who do in completely the opposite way.  Both can have happy lives.  That word friends though, more than anything is interpreted differently by different people (facebook is an example of the confusion in the term), and I’m probably not a great friend – I’m too much about my development and my sufficiency’s rather than just having a good time and enjoying company.

All you need to know is that I’m happy, and looking forward to the arrival of Simon Jenkins, David Nandi and Liam Harris in Stockholm tomorrow.  Good friends.  Bring on four nights of banter.

Oh and two more things:

Friends of mine – I do love you all – we do probably need to meet more often – let’s make it really good and really organised – I’ll do the hard work!

Peter Jöback, Darren Hayes and Eric Saade have very good new singles.  However the sooner some Eurovision selection starts the better.

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