Repitition

School starts tomorrow.  I’m going to be joined once more in my world by hundreds of eager, ambitious children.

I’ve spent the time just now looking through the entire year of blogging I have made since coming to Sweden.  I rant about Eurovision an awful lot.  However though, I have kept true to the aim I set out at the start of the blogging experience.

‘This blog is going to all about those dreams and wishes for a better world in my messed up head, my perfect story.  The big thinking ideas that so few know about I feel are developed and ready for the world to be exposed to. ‘

Each blog I seem to write comes back to my big ideas.  Overriding all of them seems to be a growing urge to keep doing more.  I want to see progression not just in my career, but also in my social life, my hobbies, my music.  I may be satisfied with the world around me, but that’s only because it keeps bringing up opportunities to go further in the world. 

I’m not sure here on exactly what I want to say here.  I want to get across an idea that there are many different sides to me, one for performing for example, one for being a very shy, very individual kind of person. 

As a general rule, I like my colleagues a lot.  We work together in an environment that isn’t going to be perfect, and we bemoan these at all levels, schools never are.  I know I’m the oddball, even for an international school, a token crazy British guy as one already pointed out.  After our amazing staff party (it was Eurovision themed, so of course it was) on the bus there is a dilemma.  All of the loud chatter was really annoying.  Not for being loud chatter, but just because I was being a huge snob about it and it seemed, dare I say, below me and what I wanted.  But I’d engage with loud sing song on the bus.  Not that it’s a bad thing, but I must be a confusing character to everybody around.  With new staff this week, I have to admit that they are all really nice and have brought a fresh breath of air to the building.  It excites me.  However, I feel I’ve made the most confusing first impressions on them that may alienate me from being involved in it all. 

This year, repeating work once again, I want to see improvements and I want to see progression.  But this is also from a ‘me’ point of view as well as professionally.  I went into town with my colleagues on Friday after our party.  I wanted to enjoy their company.  However, upon arriving, I realised that actually, this wasn’t going to be enjoyable, and I managed to sneak away home.  I was in the mood for a quiet drink, and a decent discussion with some people I respect, but it just wasn’t going to have that feel.  Those times are certainly going to come.   I think people forget that actually, I’m quite uncomfortable in many situations, even if I’m liberal and happy enough to take clothes on stage and mumble through Min Kärlek on the karaoke machine when it is very definitely in the wrong key for me.  They are polarising extremes.

I’m looking forward to the next year lots and I hope you are looking forward to following.  I hope this year for my blog to show a different side of me I didn’t know existed.  I want to learn more and develop more from this – what has come out through here this year has been mainly ideas from years of experience, and I just hope this year has brand new experience equally worth writing about.

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